Living with High Functioning Autism has
caused many conflicts within. Are decisions made at an intuitive gut
feeling the right ones? Are they taken to pieces and put back
together convincing myself that this choice only is the correct
choice? Are these thoughts well thought out?. The primary question
also there is is this going to obtain a real life result or is this
reasoning allowing only for an Autism conceptual alternative reality
about to occur.? In other words am I living in the real life or able
to believe in the fantasy overlaying reality? Then of course between
now and the end result that I see and whole hearty believe in am I
able to comprehend the working steps in creating this reality into a
reality?
Late May 2014 it was my decision to
take on the SFM and DEA education package. Let me show you the
process as to why my real life decision has been made. My passion was
and is still Social Media. From this passion has emerged a
reinforcement of a driving need. That of being an advocate for High
Functioning Autistic peoples 'sub-living' daily within every
communities and cultures .I mention sub-living here as without notice
to others outside of their small circle of close friends these unique
peoples with their unlocked gifts, talents, insight and
understandings are falling between the gaps. Effectively becoming
non-people. They may have a home, a job, a family and a life. The
question is not who are they. More what has society lost from not
recognising these peoples extraordinary talents. Ask yourself how
many people have past on and families have found unrecognised
treasures in the garden shed, virtual encyclopaedia sets of journals
and details of a life past by. Sir John Monash who died in 1935 was
one such legend. Leaving a legacy of diaries, letters and such from
what is known as the First World War. Hands Christian Anderson the
writer. Testla the person who 'discovered' electricity.
Compared to these people my decision
was not a large one. What I needed were structured resources that
tied my own Social Media experiences into sound knowledge based
factors with this aim in mind. To successfully create a sustainable
living income. Further with this understanding was the sure
knowledge that my own navigations on, and through, today's Social
Media would begin to make sense. Additionally a training program
with which to train people with limited internet reception and
download capabilities [ ie using older technology handsets] how to
utilise the internet income options. Things like being a paid
part of a collaborative world wide promotions team. Not necessarily
aimed at only those officially being part of a autism an official
autism awareness group. Early intervention with lifting of stress
levels may just alter a persons life enough so that that person does
not trigger stress related autistic behaviour rearing its head. Read
on its explained further down.
Where a changing is not as good as a rest.....
In my experience, being on the Autism
Spectrum [ASD], over the years in the work force things got steadily
harder. Known people moved away, families grew up, technology –
well that definitely changes many things ...rapidly. Life moved on
and I had to struggle to catch up. Answer me this if you can. What
do you do when you are a female, past fifty, with what people cannot
see as a disability. You see an invisible disability needs
recognition. Primarily from yourself and the medical field.
Secondly from those around you and thirdly from those you are setting
out to integrate and engage with. There in lies a major challenge for
all peoples …. that of their own Autism awareness issues.
Here is the rub. The gender is
something that is there. Basically one way or the other it is there.
The age.. okay we are talking chronological here and not the age of
the child within. The easiest way to explain this term is one I
heard somewhere. The people on the ASD are people from the Autistic
to the 'can pass for normal' within which ever community or culture
you are within. Change the community or culture and there will show
up the inner child.
For myself having had a truck impacting
into the drivers front corner of the Nissin Urvan I happened to be
driving the immediate result was two fold.
- Firstly
- Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome [PTSS]
- Total memory loss – where the conscious brain just “closed down and left”. That resulted in the subconscious brain to take over. Leaving the subconscious brain that is 'wired' for survival figuratively EXPOSED. This meant that I literally was walking through clouds constantly on the Alert for danger time after time. Add this to being a mother of three from 7 years to 18 months.... and then a mother to a new born moths later. To you that have breast fed I basically had a double whammy happening here. At this point there is no need to suggest that survival was due to special autism skills or knowledge. What was happening was shear gut survival instinct that went on for over fifteen years. Time held no reality for me. As an aside to this day I still do not like clocks and watches.
- Stress causes me to just close down and I sleep. Now at least the close down process is slow and I can remove myself from danger.
- The second thing was my own High Functioning Autism came out to 'play havoc' big time. This effectively was cloud covered with the PTSS.
- Let me put this statement into historical perspective.
- Fifty years plus ago Autism research was really just beginning.
- Thirty years ago Dr Colin Greens book on Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD]was in print. The medical field medicated every child and if they could have would have done so for the pets as well.
- Twenty three years ago the truck impact occurred. Where we ended up was in isolated mountainous Victoria, Australia. What do you think the medical and social environment was like?
Thank heavens for timely awarenss imputs
When the two [PTSS and HFA] joined forces they literally rained havoc within my life I walked away from those
pressures. At least I had sort counselling with a Behavioural
Psychologist [ Danny Blackford] a few years before hand. Had I
actually realised what was happening I would have taken the
Disability Pension and redirected myself into a less stressful
situation work wise. No. I was not a high flier. I was a relief
taxi driver. Mostly working nights. Over time the hours became 120
hours per week on call. You see that is what relief does. They
relieve. At least this is what I did in a previous health working
field – pre-impact that is.
Needless to say the messages Danny had
forward my brain about came to the forefront just in time. Danny had
given me “permission “ to look after myself and when needed to
just walk away. The loyalty to the 'employer' had to become the
loyalty to myself change. Hay we all know that change is not
something that humans like... let alone those people somewhere
experiencing life within the spectrum.
The other thing I had become aware of
is the pain tolerance threshold was so large that until another
near death incident - which took two weeks to mull through and see
just how dangerously close things were becoming driving a taxi - was
I ready for the change.
At this point please realise within
Victoria [ Australia] truck drivers and couriers have to via the
Victoria Taxi Body to obtain their licenses. The truck drivers have
vehicle log books and specifically hours and time frames with which
they can even be around their truck. The drivers brake these rules
and regulations and the firms the drivers work for have no
insurance..Strangely enough these drivers are in the same boat as the
Taxi drivers. Not enough willing workers and always the underlying
threat that the job will go when the answer you give is a safety
'NO'. Effectively You the driver wear the blame in a pass the
buck... you carry the license and you hold the keys. Needless to say
that I went to every doctor around and asked never to be placed in
this situation again. Now NO commercial license will be granted.
There went that stress factor
The result is what am I able to
gainfully do while on the Disability Pension? Especially as I have
great difficult reading people body language, distrust authorities
and employers who are looking after themselves [ convince me
otherwise if you can]
This question goes back to the start of
this post.
The only answer left is online income
streams.
Online is something that I am
fascinated in. Something that started off with” how do the letters
and pictures get on the screen in the first place”. Well I figured
that out. Years ago. My Social Profile is high and could be higher
[ of course] I have no concept of what I am worth though. Just
yesterday I placed this in someone’s hands and will be sorted out.
Now back to the course and the
associated resources.
What the course has shown me is that
there is a heck of a lot of potential in what I have. There also is
a wide gap / deep chasm with what I have and what I am wanting to do
with what I have. Two choices. Slim and trim of which my intuitive
self is arguing and yelling at my brain not too. This gut reaction
is what I am listening too.
In so doing this leads me to the second
option. Slowly back track and realign/ rebuild with what I have
already done. Monitor the results. Accept that quick money is not
going to be an option. PITY.
The resources have among them really
great videos, copies of online Webinars, blog and training options,
groups and hands on connections with people who have and are walking
the walk. I was under the impression that I may have to get out
there and sell something. Bad experiences with personal
relationships hips and the clash of Muli-Level Marketing have had a
negative impact here.
Writing this post thorough as well as
listening to this mornings webinar I have just realised the only
thing I have to do is promote what I write... which is what I do
anyway on and through Social Media. Excuse me whole I take a minute
to actually feel stupid here. {okay I am back}
Why did I pay for this courses
educations and resource’s package if the Australian Government want
as many people as possible to get out there and be in the work force?
Other than stating the obvious ... would this loan, study and possible sensory overload be an 'accident' awaiting to happen. Proabaly.
On the flip side I could always do mind numbing activities such as sit around and take up smoking, watching Television [ have to purchase one though], may be drink alchol or even take drugs - persecibed or not so that depression does not become a too frequent visitor.
You see I love working with
communities. All it takes is one person within a community to start
to change the way things are done and slowly people within that
community accept change factors occurring. As things start happening
more people start coming on board.
The sticky point is that I have a Post
Graduate Certificate in Rural and Community Development. The capital
“P as in Post” and the word 'Certificate' got me. I thought what
I was applying for / and than obtained was just a small certificate.
Not the level of a Post Degree year. This is a problem for an
employer as I am now effectively over qualified.
In conclusion
When I stumbled on an email data
collection popup 2 years ago what was activated was a quite send out
of a small note. Within this note was offered a free course. That
was free. And by itself was well worth it. However I saw a
structured course outlining just what I was looking for. Online and
at a stretch affordable. Something that I can do at home and not
have to worry about other people interpreting my concentration and
personal space. A course where if sensory overload occurs I can just
go to bed and sleep it through rather than have to place a smile on
and incur a headache.
As I stated in the beginning paying for
this SFM and DEA course was my decision. The repayments of the loan
are my responsibility. I acknowledge that things may be slow to
start with with regards to becoming financially independent. I know
however that I am suborn enough to just keep going. With the Taxis I
rest my case here. And I have not even told you about the help and
support that has been happening when I either reach out for it or
someone sees there is something that I should be aware of and shoots
me information opening doors and connecting the experiences into
knowledge.
