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"Turn what we label as a disability into an opportunity and together we can change the world

Why are some people with Asperger's perceived as being extremely sarcastic?

Basic thing to remember is that many High Functioning Autistics [ Asperger's] are terrific mimics. This said a learn reactive behaviour is established to deal with something.  The flip side is that once learned they do not know that the circumstances have now changed thus the called for reaction is meant to be different.

A challenge for parents, siblings, extended family and other stakeholder in the community is to prepare the HFA for certain new behaviours, what they are, what they might look like, ride with that person as they negotiate the behaviour and eventually had over the 'rudder' as they have traversed the
actions and reactions.

Each step is built upon and bridged over with help.... constants, backing and familiarization.  Takes years. Sometimes it is best for the person to take control and escape the rat race.  Go somewhere where they are not judged as harshly.  Which is part and parcel as to why many person outside the herd mentality actually head towards the internet.

So there you have it.  

If the HFA understands that sarcasm is part of them not coping, or coping wrongly and is also a coping mechanism for or to bullying [ bigger picture aspect] they will become familiar with cause / consequence, act/ react and other balancing aspects of the behaviour.  Replacing one action with another more appropriate one.

Hope this explains itself, is helpful and answers the question as fully as possible with such a wide spectrum of Autism available for someone to be within.

Written by a 12 year old...http://pinterest.com/pin/1923882... Scary stuff. However  read the comments as well.

 Often times A high Functioning Autistic will not understand a limitation where they excel.  If they do not excel they simply block things out. Partially this is a blocking mechanism and avoids emotional or mental overload.  Considering  "normal" people as "Stupid" when they miss details that that High Functioning Aspie's will not miss a detail.

Once again action replays will get int he way od real life issues.   The struggle in real life situations is easy to walk away from. You sit in front of the computer and become absorbed through the flashing lights and your ability to control understand and conceptualise.  Finally, years of real life struggles are transferred into gaining ground in new endeavours online.  You have escaped that rat race.

Contact me should you need any more assistance with these endevours.

 Congratulations

Sincerely

Susan

susanlewis@susanlewismarketing.com

http://www.susanlewismarketing.com

High Functioning Autism with a touch of Synesthesia in action.

 Being within the Autism Spectrum you probably have been unconsciously aware that there are many and varied gifts, talents and acceptances.  Each of these have many and varied levels within them as well.  Let's look at the following story to see Synesthesia in action.

 Living within High Functioning happens to have it's quite profound ups and downs with regard to every day acceptances, attitudes and even noticing the noticing of how big exactly you are making that hole you are about to jump in and keep digging! Even through these the reactive or proactive procedures that you tend to get yourself   involved with are so often triggered through a multitude of what appear unrelated incidents.  Then wham you have done it again.

This post may seem like a ramble [ probably is] however the objective is to give an overall method of approach to understanding what happens with situations of passive-aggression from the 'wearers' point of view'.  What I am about to use are examples and happenings within my own life.  Should anyone recognise that it was them that I am explaining then please accept my apologies in advance.  With a few basic changes, I am attempting to not make you identifiable while still being truthful.

While at my local shopping centre a few years ago I went up to a young mother who had a toddler in the pushchair.  I smiled and stated " I am jealous of your child" The look of total bamboozlement on the ladies face ... so I went on to say "The plastic casts on his legs I am jealous of those."  At that point she near burst into tears.  I was not fully conscious of this, however her husband was.  He in turn became very protective of what he saw as a threat to his family.  As he rightly should have done.  Meanwhile I was still staring in wonder at the plastic foot and leg casts

What I did not know was how upset the two were that their child had been fitted with booth feet having lower foot and leg plastic casts. The prognosis was not good as to the length of time this child would need to wear the plastics vertical half casts.

Luckily I did become aware.  I asked for them not to leave .  Instead to let me explain my comment.

Firstly that when I was born I also had both feet with Talipes [ club feet] as well as dislocating hips.

Secondly that along with that I was born with High Functioning Autism / Aspergers.  The result of which at times gets my mouth into trouble as the brain is otherwise occupied with mental overload.  "Would they let me clarify my comment. Please?"  He nodded and tentatively turned towards me.  I noted though the pushchair was still facing going forward and away while he was also holding into himself his wife. The mother of that child.

Must admit that at that point the gawkers started to move away as well.

I explained that when I was born in 1959 my father had to be informed of my 'birth defects" as he was the one in those days to say yes or no to my staying with my mother.  Had my mother been single then it would have been her father or the oldest male adult within her family/ extended family.

Being told that there was going to be no hope my mother remembered the nurses speech she had attended.  One on the traditional methods of cultures where talapies is.  They bound the feet as well as daily massage.  To this day if bandages are required they need to be firm [ very firm] and foot massage is wonderful to give as well as receive.

After about  three months of that came the longer length plaster casts.  The ones that went from my waste to my lower feet.  All of my foot on both sides were plaster casted as there was a metal bar between the feet 'splaying' them outward.  Of course the faster I grew the wider the bar.  The heavier this end of my anatomy got as well.

Why was I able to say that I was jealous.  A few weeks earlier I had seen a child with one plastic splint.  At that time I nearly cried.  I know I was emotional at seeing the process  having got that far.  Just the same as I am now there are tears welling in my eyes at the memory of this initial shock .

As  explained to the young couple they never have to go through what my mother had to go through.  Can you imagine her horror at here sisters swinging me upside sown like a rag doll.  Not from the feet themselves... from the bar.  Apparently this also meant adding extra weight to the foot / leg attachments as the plaster at that end would constantly be weakening.  Wonder why?

As a mother myself I checked my children's feet.  One son has the same protruding ankle and misalignment of bones. Yes I had taken him to the Dr wanting a  specialist appointment.  Only to be told I was seeing things that were not there.  That son would have been about two at the time.  When he was about seven I finally had enough money to take him to a specialist podiatrist.  Of course, this man made me cry as he accused me of not caring for my son.    I should have taken him sooner like when he was two etc.  At which time I sat down totally dejected.  You see when he was only eighteen months old a truck coming around the wrong side of the road impacted into the van we were in.  Me...well to the point that I am today  twenty-five years after the impact my survivor part of the brain is still just in the beginning of releasing memories.  More importantly it is still in the beginnings of sewing these memories together with understanding.   With the memories and understanding comes a certain knowledge. The type that in today's world behavior psychologists specialists like Danny Blackford are able to guide you with.

Having explained this I was extremely sorry that what and how I had approached the situation was unacceptable.  I was not being someone who was heartless.  Just joyful at their lack of pain like my mother had.  Joyful that this beautiful child had the freedom to experience crawling, getting into trouble and mischief simply because he could. The child could easily get into water, learn to swim at an early age. Yes, the feet were restricted in movement somewhat and yet I still was jealous as this was a terrific opportunity they had.  The man informed me that plaster with a bar was still going on.  They themselves were so thankful that their son had not required that.  I think they saw the look on my face when he mentioned that that procedure was still needing to be implemented.  I know I froze momentarily.

Writing this I am thinking that child would be about seven now.  He would not have to undergo the metal capers that I also had to wear once the plaster casts came off.

At about this time, the man asked would I like a closer look at his son's feet.
  The pram was already being swung around so that the opportunity was there if I wanted it.  I took up the offer.  So there we three were at the child level admiring the feet.  Being grateful that times had changed sufficiently so that this child had the freedom to have his feet gently corrected with something as lightweight and manageable as velcro and plastic.

You know God works in mysterious ways.  What I did not know was the lady and child had been to the local Doctors listening to a specialist report.  From there this lady was uset and had phoned her husband for emotional support.  He had been delayed due to getting tme off a work situation.  Even having people she knew around her at the doctors was not helping.  So out she walked with her child to enjoy the sun and wait for her husband.  He knew where to find her as when I came across her the phone call that the lady was on was her  telling him where they were.  He heard my initial comment and thinking I was making an underhanded comment  [read 'being insulting'] while himself was already highly combustible with everything that was tearing at him.  I think had I been a man instead of a lady at nearly fifty he would have punched me out.

You see For people who thnk that a passive aggressive  [ which appears in control at times] is being a smart aleck.  Making sniper comments.  That is 'a sniper' is one that is considered to be 'taking pot shots' at someone or something.  The comments are known as snipes. Snipes being insults masked in humor. The unfortunate thing is that besides just being happy and joyous this situation of mine would not occur again I was also extremely happy that another memory was surfacing.  That the post traumatic shock syndrome my brain was trapped with was releasing another memory.

Another area to point out is that there are different levels of hypersensitivity among the HFA's.  Often those on the Autism spectrum will repel each other.  Think Magnets.  What the NT's will see too late is that one Autistic Spectrum person cannot get along in the same space as another one.  Instant 'grrr' effect. The unseen thing is that one can read the other like a twin connection. The situation is not so much that a High Functioning Autistic person does not enjoy being forced to be upfront with their communications.
If the term Synesthesia means anything to you then you will have some degree of understanding.  Hink higher spiritually aware peoples.  Or those that people pay to tune into places where thought transferences are occurring.   many of these very sensitive people are now employed under officialdom and are taught ways to just not been seen.  Which of course, suits them very well as they are able to be alone within a world of their own.  The employers get the jobs done  literally to perfection.  Time is not an issue the end result is.

 hat is actually happening is that since the recipients of the observation have moralistically pigeon-holed the actions as being in the catalog of 'passive aggressive' behaviour.  The HFA is not actually being Passive Aggressive.  What is happening is that the recipient is placing the moralistic name tag onto a thing they are not understanding. For many of those on the Autism Spectrum, they are living with a very visible disability.  That of people who are not aware of what it is to have and be living with High Functioning Autism......an invisible disability.

 However we are not talking about this level of appreciation for certain actions and reactions.  Those out of this employment situation still are being judged through moralistic ideas of a people who have no understanding of what it is to be like this.  Rather than expand these gifts and talents the circle of influence is petrified the herd  has been infected.  Thus close down is required and that usually use to mean electric shock treatment, high medications and other screwball treatments.

Now things have changed somewhat. Instead, there is a watered down version of event  underway.  In 2014 the United Nations began to recognise the Autism Spectrum.  One day a year is an internationally recognised Autism day [ in March] This coincides with the festival of lights through the world.  The colour blue is now being recognised as being important.

The end effect of all while scenario that I started off telling you about is that this couple looked at their child, this wonderful little man in the pushchair, with new hope for something to go right.  As I was walking away the man called out with relief  in his voice.  He had watched how I walked now.  Then he pointed this out to his wife. You cannot tell that I have had Talipes.    While he held his  toddler in his arms he came up and shook my hand. Suddenly there I was with this little chap in my arms.

That was a beautiful moment of trust on the father's behalf.  What I never told the parents was the pain of having my nerves in both feet snipped when six years and fifty-one weeks old. The pain of not being able to have morphine or pethidine due to a reaction [ like, hay!, I caused the anaesthetist some major concerns while on the operating table] .

The child's distress at his parents nonacceptance distress of his condition and supposed pain called to me.  By helping one, the parents, communicate with the parents, in this case,  I was helping the other [ the child] be able to grow in an environment that would accept him

And I kept the child's High Functioning Autism as secret as well.  That would have been an invasion of the little man's privacy.  Nor did he want me to make it known at that time. High Functioning Autistics are born 'old'.  Their brain capacity is that of innocent children for such a small amount of time.  Usually, way before they are eighteen moths old an in tune person will know and have confirmed for themselves that the child's body has begun to take things conceptually apart and reason as an adult. That is what I mean about Synesthesia.

Should you have any questions that I may be able to assist you with then feel free to make them within the comment box.  Possibly you now have some idea of various terms to check out through the internet.  Pease do. Just be aware there are many sharks within the waters.   Check the authenticity of their presence first.

Peace be with you.

Sincerely

Susan



Resources:

with https://www.facebook.com/livingwithhighfunctioningautismcve4me
  Here's to you.

Use The Youtube Comment Tab To Find The Video URL You Are Looking For

Amazing how the little things trip us up as we look forward and go backwards.  That is true with how to use Youtube comment tab to find the video URL you are looking for!  until we then realise what it is that is missing.  Knowing this is very helpful when you are on the High Functioning Autism Spectrum.  Knowing , remembering, understanding and connecting one set of information to another set of information being paramount  as we inherently know what to do that settles our mind before overload takes a hold.

Hi .
As part of the High Functioning Autism Spectrum the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder [OCD] side of this was  really playing up when I joined into the Digital Gold Rush and set about gaining knowledge, skills and lots of practice with making things work on the internet.

<<< Know the feeling?  >>>

Comment here on Facebook!

Yes although it is possible to make my life a lot more financial when and if I get around to pushing myself the knowledge that I have a breaking point is very scary.  Having been through that point at least once within my life the need for a solid foundation has become paramount.  Luckily not paramount or the moving forward would not occur.

Thankfully the focus for long hours is not so dominant these days.  At my mid-fifties there definitely could be health issues arising from long hours sitting in front of my personal computer.

What has balanced this out is that fact that there are other things to do.  For instance the dog Sox is important as he is patiently waiting for me already to take him on a walk for one hour.  That is about 6 kilometers.

When we get back today here I will be for the next six hours from today before the next set of housework and a small walk of three kilometers in total.  To the shops for ice blocks as I have run out of them.  The temperatures today will be in the mid 30's C.  I can see us going to Sox's favourite dam as a side diversion on the way home.



Read more about Sox and his high jinks on the link in the resources section.

>>>Or click through here.<<<

Sox is a twelve year old dog.  He has been there for me as a few years ago things were being blocked off so that my inner child could survive.  However a dog's loyalty, trust and just shear arrogance of you need to feed me is what pulls you through.

Why am I still on a learning curve after fifteen years on the net?

The answer goes like this.  The net challenges me enough so that when I gave it a proper chance again last year to weave it's magic around me I wanted to know how to work through a financial difficulty I could see looming up.  That of being on an employment scrap heap.  Even if it is not 'legal' these thins still exist.  Fifty plus, female and with a disability and loads of life skills attached to qualifications.  Laughingly I thought finding a job with these things would be easy.  No the opposite is true.  Overqualified and underemployed while still owing a duty debt is not a great way of starting off a working life.

Where could I find something that would suit me, my talents, gifts and knowledge while not stifling my energy flow?  Play the video above. Read the description for a start.

When you have Aspergers and struggle with authority what do you for.,

Coming across a question on the web with regard to having Aspergers [High Functioning Autism] and a struggle with productivity [ or lack of it] this effectively this was my reply.

Having recently started a complementary DigitsalExperts Academy course.  The experiences through the initial course work and set up astounded me. In many ways just overwhelmed me.

However I stuck yhe free bootcamp out .  Deciding that this privte community had what U knew wiuylf xome along soon.  ZIt sid.Whe you have Aspergers and also have problem with profuctibity I wanted more as there was something within that course that appealed to me.  Needless to say the first one run out and I paid for the second level of this course..

Here is what I found out though:

1. Have you a bucket list?  write 101 things down that just you want to achieve.
1. This took me 9 attempts and then I was ready. OCC made me want an orderly multi faceted  level system in my bucket list.  So now I not only flew to Sydney, [New South Wales - Australia], attended a Momentum day, rode on a ferry, Took photos of... came back down by train.  In total I think I somehow crossed of 10 of these bucket list things.  Sub-stepping stones towards my dream being achieved. Now I have 2 Stepping stones kinda completed.... that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder part of my Autism Spectrum again is having a ball.
2. Next:::::::::> Have you a dream? 
1.  Something to focus on that will make you get put of bed in the morning.  Not something for you.... something other than yourself as you [ like me] will get bored with the self-fulfilment dream and off on a tangent you will go.  Been there ...done that lots.

Your struggles have created a stronger person within you.  You have so much to give that you can now turn your "Shit to Shingles"  as the saying goes.  Make the negatives in top positives. It can be done.  I am doing it.... and [shhhh ] I am older than you.

You are a programmer.  Then what is it in your 10 year dream that you are aiming for.  If it is programming that your want to brand yourself with then what part of the programming is going  to turn your dream on with a real glow.  One that as smaller stepping stones get accomplished the glow will go into full force.

I am a community developer.  On line now.  My beef that I can do something about is the simple unfairness of micro-financing for the smaller communities.  This has led me two years ago to outlining a program... the words. And yet I have no idea how to get backers or programs or anything else.  So I start by developing another online authority site... and now as an aside learning /implementing slowly HTMl enabling what ever magic it does to be effective.    Excuse me where did the me go who does not like a [patterns] and b) jig saw puzzles and c another language.

I learned you have to trick the brain.  Sounds weird.  I have. From the dream to every day things work backwards to go forwards. ... and Check List the things. It works.

Hit the Susan Connor and check out the about me on the web page.  Still working on the web page as I am now learning HTML..... like in baby steps. Read my  bio  in the about me tab.  You will see where I am coming from.

Look what I found has helped me ....may or may not help you.  I have no Idea.  Would love to hear back from you as your read this and share it around.

Sincerely


Susan

YOU ARE INVITED to come on an Autism Awareness activity: a treasure hunt.

The @cve4mejournal
profile picture

The internet is so wide and deep that people are getting lost.  Distractions occur along the way.  People run then out of time before they can absorb what is wanted to be researched about.  Or if you know how to bookmark or favourite store on th computer scrrrens desktop and navigation bar the computer then starts reunning really slowly.  That is when you, like me, start to wonder what is happening and take the computer in for debugging and unecessary clean outs.

Meanwhile you are down timed and out of pocket.  Besides frustrated and suffering withdrawls from the computer time deficits.  Actually the flip side is that the housework  - mending, cake and biscuits are bakes, paperfiles are sorted out, cupboards for tiding and generally any Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder [OCD] signs that you were thinking you had under control  are there to bug you and interfer with your mind again.  Well like any OCD behaviours the impulse fore myself was to keep busy and clean up.  Usually involving a systemattic ritual of destruction of all safety and short term sanity as not just a few things would be cleared out clean down and sorted put... but everything.  Nothing was safe. The place was an organised mess.  The rubish bins got full [ so too did the neighbours ones] and by the time this had finished a few weeks had gone by.

Where was the computer but either sitting there innocently [ laughing at me! as I unnecessarily cleaned] or waiting for me to be less busy and have time to pick the computer up from the shop.  Either way I had learned the hardway having children at home,  until one job was done the other could not be started or havok rained and nothing ever got completed.  The result is the children got older and left home.  I had purchased big plastic stackable containers where everything ended up until I could deal with on container at a time.  Which was a bandaid measure however this had worked ---  > to a point.

Then a friend and his wife turned up.  After he had finished scoldng me while fixing the computer [ he was too polite to actually laugh at tme at the time] clearing the bookmark and favourites bar had begun in earnest. Where to store things though.  You are aware that there is a despirite need to 'collect things' that most people with some degree of High Functioning Autism actually have. The end result is I now have blogging sites with tones of read later information hordered away.  And yes where the 'cleaning out' example is a sign of a "counter and arranger" catergory after years I have learned to throw out physical things usually through a check list game of three phases.

1. Recycling - into the garden, opportunity shops, friends or others who have a need
2. Storing properly - hay... the cupboards and filing sytems, outside shed look real clean once the whirl wind has gone through.
3. Actually throwing out what does not fit into the above catergories and into the recycling rubbish bins things go.

Why do I know this? Needless to say I am "Living with High Functioning Autisim" myself.

With the hoarding of the information this is my proposal...  " Lets make use of it"  I am asking your to come on an Autism Awareness activity: A treasure hunt.  Each section will have a

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

•  call to action 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• a quick note and / or dotpoint explained. 

There is no right nor wrong steps to make.  The choices are purely there for yourself.  If you do not want that choice then simply click the link and go from the page and onto another pages link.  For transparency though there will be what Google calls "Takeaways".  Simply put the actual URL is pasted there.  Instead of hitting a link just copy and paste [ or type out the URL into your 'search' yourself].

Why taking on the structures SFM and DEA educational and resource pacages is a terrific move for some High Functioning Autisc peoples

Living with High Functioning Autism has caused many conflicts within. Are decisions made at an intuitive gut feeling the right ones? Are they taken to pieces and put back together convincing myself that this choice only is the correct choice? Are these thoughts well thought out?. The primary question also there is is this going to obtain a real life result or is this reasoning allowing only for an Autism conceptual alternative reality about to occur.? In other words am I living in the real life or able to believe in the fantasy overlaying reality? Then of course between now and the end result that I see and whole hearty believe in am I able to comprehend the working steps in creating this reality into a reality?

Late May 2014 it was my decision to take on the SFM and DEA education package. Let me show you the process as to why my real life decision has been made. My passion was and is still Social Media. From this passion has emerged a reinforcement of a driving need. That of being an advocate for High Functioning Autistic peoples 'sub-living' daily within every communities and cultures .I mention sub-living here as without notice to others outside of their small circle of close friends these unique peoples with their unlocked gifts, talents, insight and understandings are falling between the gaps. Effectively becoming non-people. They may have a home, a job, a family and a life. The question is not who are they. More what has society lost from not recognising these peoples extraordinary talents. Ask yourself how many people have past on and families have found unrecognised treasures in the garden shed, virtual encyclopaedia sets of journals and details of a life past by. Sir John Monash who died in 1935 was one such legend. Leaving a legacy of diaries, letters and such from what is known as the First World War. Hands Christian Anderson the writer. Testla the person who 'discovered' electricity.

Compared to these people my decision was not a large one. What I needed were structured resources that tied my own Social Media experiences into sound knowledge based factors with this aim in mind. To successfully create a sustainable living income. Further with this understanding was the sure knowledge that my own navigations on, and through, today's Social Media would begin to make sense. Additionally a training program with which to train people with limited internet reception and download capabilities [ ie using older technology handsets] how to utilise the internet income options. Things like being a paid part of a collaborative world wide promotions team. Not necessarily aimed at only those officially being part of a autism an official autism awareness group. Early intervention with lifting of stress levels may just alter a persons life enough so that that person does not trigger stress related autistic behaviour rearing its head. Read on its explained further down.

Where a changing is not as good as a rest.....

In my experience, being on the Autism Spectrum [ASD], over the years in the work force things got steadily harder. Known people moved away, families grew up, technology – well that definitely changes many things ...rapidly. Life moved on and I had to struggle to catch up. Answer me this if you can. What do you do when you are a female, past fifty, with what people cannot see as a disability. You see an invisible disability needs recognition. Primarily from yourself and the medical field. Secondly from those around you and thirdly from those you are setting out to integrate and engage with. There in lies a major challenge for all peoples …. that of their own Autism awareness issues.

Here is the rub. The gender is something that is there. Basically one way or the other it is there. The age.. okay we are talking chronological here and not the age of the child within. The easiest way to explain this term is one I heard somewhere. The people on the ASD are people from the Autistic to the 'can pass for normal' within which ever community or culture you are within. Change the community or culture and there will show up the inner child.

For myself having had a truck impacting into the drivers front corner of the Nissin Urvan I happened to be driving the immediate result was two fold.

• Firstly
  • Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome [PTSS]
    • Total memory loss – where the conscious brain just “closed down and left”. That resulted in the subconscious brain to take over. Leaving the subconscious brain that is 'wired' for survival figuratively EXPOSED. This meant that I literally was walking through clouds constantly on the Alert for danger time after time. Add this to being a mother of three from 7 years to 18 months.... and then a mother to a new born moths later. To you that have breast fed I basically had a double whammy happening here. At this point there is no need to suggest that survival was due to special autism skills or knowledge. What was happening was shear gut survival instinct that went on for over fifteen years. Time held no reality for me. As an aside to this day I still do not like clocks and watches.
    • Stress causes me to just close down and I sleep. Now at least the close down process is slow and I can remove myself from danger.

• The second thing was my own High Functioning Autism came out to 'play havoc' big time. This effectively was cloud covered with the PTSS.
  • Let me put this statement into historical perspective.
    • Fifty years plus ago Autism research was really just beginning.
      • Thirty years ago Dr Colin Greens book on Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD]was in print. The medical field medicated every child and if they could have would have done so for the pets as well.
      • Twenty three years ago the truck impact occurred. Where we ended up was in isolated mountainous Victoria, Australia. What do you think the medical and social environment was like?

Thank heavens for timely awarenss imputs

When the two [PTSS and HFA] joined forces they literally rained havoc within my life I walked away from those pressures. At least I had sort counselling with a Behavioural Psychologist [ Danny Blackford] a few years before hand. Had I actually realised what was happening I would have taken the Disability Pension and redirected myself into a less stressful situation work wise. No. I was not a high flier. I was a relief taxi driver. Mostly working nights. Over time the hours became 120 hours per week on call. You see that is what relief does. They relieve. At least this is what I did in a previous health working field – pre-impact that is.

Needless to say the messages Danny had forward my brain about came to the forefront just in time. Danny had given me “permission “ to look after myself and when needed to just walk away. The loyalty to the 'employer' had to become the loyalty to myself change. Hay we all know that change is not something that humans like... let alone those people somewhere experiencing life within the spectrum.

The other thing I had become aware of is the pain tolerance threshold was so large that until another near death incident - which took two weeks to mull through and see just how dangerously close things were becoming driving a taxi - was I ready for the change.

At this point please realise within Victoria [ Australia] truck drivers and couriers have to via the Victoria Taxi Body to obtain their licenses. The truck drivers have vehicle log books and specifically hours and time frames with which they can even be around their truck. The drivers brake these rules and regulations and the firms the drivers work for have no insurance..Strangely enough these drivers are in the same boat as the Taxi drivers. Not enough willing workers and always the underlying threat that the job will go when the answer you give is a safety 'NO'. Effectively You the driver wear the blame in a pass the buck... you carry the license and you hold the keys. Needless to say that I went to every doctor around and asked never to be placed in this situation again. Now NO commercial license will be granted. There went that stress factor

The result is what am I able to gainfully do while on the Disability Pension? Especially as I have great difficult reading people body language, distrust authorities and employers who are looking after themselves [ convince me otherwise if you can]

This question goes back to the start of this post.

The only answer left is online income streams.

Online is something that I am fascinated in. Something that started off with” how do the letters and pictures get on the screen in the first place”. Well I figured that out. Years ago. My Social Profile is high and could be higher [ of course] I have no concept of what I am worth though. Just yesterday I placed this in someone’s hands and will be sorted out.

Now back to the course and the associated resources.

What the course has shown me is that there is a heck of a lot of potential in what I have. There also is a wide gap / deep chasm with what I have and what I am wanting to do with what I have. Two choices. Slim and trim of which my intuitive self is arguing and yelling at my brain not too. This gut reaction is what I am listening too.

In so doing this leads me to the second option. Slowly back track and realign/ rebuild with what I have already done. Monitor the results. Accept that quick money is not going to be an option. PITY.

The resources have among them really great videos, copies of online Webinars, blog and training options, groups and hands on connections with people who have and are walking the walk. I was under the impression that I may have to get out there and sell something. Bad experiences with personal relationships hips and the clash of Muli-Level Marketing have had a negative impact here.

Writing this post thorough as well as listening to this mornings webinar I have just realised the only thing I have to do is promote what I write... which is what I do anyway on and through Social Media. Excuse me whole I take a minute to actually feel stupid here. {okay I am back}

Why did I pay for this courses educations and resource’s package if the Australian Government want as many people as possible to get out there and be in the work force?

Other than stating the obvious ... would this loan, study and possible sensory overload be an 'accident' awaiting to happen.  Proabaly. 

 On the flip side I could always do mind numbing activities such as sit around and take up smoking, watching Television [ have to purchase one though], may be drink alchol or even take drugs - persecibed or not so that depression does not become a too frequent visitor.

You see I love working with communities. All it takes is one person within a community to start to change the way things are done and slowly people within that community accept change factors occurring. As things start happening more people start coming on board.

The sticky point is that I have a Post Graduate Certificate in Rural and Community Development. The capital “P as in Post” and the word 'Certificate' got me. I thought what I was applying for / and than obtained was just a small certificate. Not the level of a Post Degree year. This is a problem for an employer as I am now effectively over qualified.

In conclusion

When I stumbled on an email data collection popup 2 years ago what was activated was a quite send out of a small note. Within this note was offered a free course. That was free. And by itself was well worth it. However I saw a structured course outlining just what I was looking for. Online and at a stretch affordable. Something that I can do at home and not have to worry about other people interpreting my concentration and personal space. A course where if sensory overload occurs I can just go to bed and sleep it through rather than have to place a smile on and incur a headache.

As I stated in the beginning paying for this SFM and DEA course was my decision. The repayments of the loan are my responsibility. I acknowledge that things may be slow to start with with regards to becoming financially independent. I know however that I am suborn enough to just keep going. With the Taxis I rest my case here. And I have not even told you about the help and support that has been happening when I either reach out for it or someone sees there is something that I should be aware of and shoots me information opening doors and connecting the experiences into knowledge.