YOU ARE INVITED to come on an Autism Awareness activity: a treasure hunt.

The @cve4mejournal
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The internet is so wide and deep that people are getting lost.  Distractions occur along the way.  People run then out of time before they can absorb what is wanted to be researched about.  Or if you know how to bookmark or favourite store on th computer scrrrens desktop and navigation bar the computer then starts reunning really slowly.  That is when you, like me, start to wonder what is happening and take the computer in for debugging and unecessary clean outs.

Meanwhile you are down timed and out of pocket.  Besides frustrated and suffering withdrawls from the computer time deficits.  Actually the flip side is that the housework  - mending, cake and biscuits are bakes, paperfiles are sorted out, cupboards for tiding and generally any Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder [OCD] signs that you were thinking you had under control  are there to bug you and interfer with your mind again.  Well like any OCD behaviours the impulse fore myself was to keep busy and clean up.  Usually involving a systemattic ritual of destruction of all safety and short term sanity as not just a few things would be cleared out clean down and sorted put... but everything.  Nothing was safe. The place was an organised mess.  The rubish bins got full [ so too did the neighbours ones] and by the time this had finished a few weeks had gone by.

Where was the computer but either sitting there innocently [ laughing at me! as I unnecessarily cleaned] or waiting for me to be less busy and have time to pick the computer up from the shop.  Either way I had learned the hardway having children at home,  until one job was done the other could not be started or havok rained and nothing ever got completed.  The result is the children got older and left home.  I had purchased big plastic stackable containers where everything ended up until I could deal with on container at a time.  Which was a bandaid measure however this had worked ---  > to a point.

Then a friend and his wife turned up.  After he had finished scoldng me while fixing the computer [ he was too polite to actually laugh at tme at the time] clearing the bookmark and favourites bar had begun in earnest. Where to store things though.  You are aware that there is a despirite need to 'collect things' that most people with some degree of High Functioning Autism actually have. The end result is I now have blogging sites with tones of read later information hordered away.  And yes where the 'cleaning out' example is a sign of a "counter and arranger" catergory after years I have learned to throw out physical things usually through a check list game of three phases.

1. Recycling - into the garden, opportunity shops, friends or others who have a need
2. Storing properly - hay... the cupboards and filing sytems, outside shed look real clean once the whirl wind has gone through.
3. Actually throwing out what does not fit into the above catergories and into the recycling rubbish bins things go.

Why do I know this? Needless to say I am "Living with High Functioning Autisim" myself.

With the hoarding of the information this is my proposal...  " Lets make use of it"  I am asking your to come on an Autism Awareness activity: A treasure hunt.  Each section will have a

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•  call to action 

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• a quick note and / or dotpoint explained. 

There is no right nor wrong steps to make.  The choices are purely there for yourself.  If you do not want that choice then simply click the link and go from the page and onto another pages link.  For transparency though there will be what Google calls "Takeaways".  Simply put the actual URL is pasted there.  Instead of hitting a link just copy and paste [ or type out the URL into your 'search' yourself].

Why taking on the structures SFM and DEA educational and resource pacages is a terrific move for some High Functioning Autisc peoples

Living with High Functioning Autism has caused many conflicts within. Are decisions made at an intuitive gut feeling the right ones? Are they taken to pieces and put back together convincing myself that this choice only is the correct choice? Are these thoughts well thought out?. The primary question also there is is this going to obtain a real life result or is this reasoning allowing only for an Autism conceptual alternative reality about to occur.? In other words am I living in the real life or able to believe in the fantasy overlaying reality? Then of course between now and the end result that I see and whole hearty believe in am I able to comprehend the working steps in creating this reality into a reality?

Late May 2014 it was my decision to take on the SFM and DEA education package. Let me show you the process as to why my real life decision has been made. My passion was and is still Social Media. From this passion has emerged a reinforcement of a driving need. That of being an advocate for High Functioning Autistic peoples 'sub-living' daily within every communities and cultures .I mention sub-living here as without notice to others outside of their small circle of close friends these unique peoples with their unlocked gifts, talents, insight and understandings are falling between the gaps. Effectively becoming non-people. They may have a home, a job, a family and a life. The question is not who are they. More what has society lost from not recognising these peoples extraordinary talents. Ask yourself how many people have past on and families have found unrecognised treasures in the garden shed, virtual encyclopaedia sets of journals and details of a life past by. Sir John Monash who died in 1935 was one such legend. Leaving a legacy of diaries, letters and such from what is known as the First World War. Hands Christian Anderson the writer. Testla the person who 'discovered' electricity.

Compared to these people my decision was not a large one. What I needed were structured resources that tied my own Social Media experiences into sound knowledge based factors with this aim in mind. To successfully create a sustainable living income. Further with this understanding was the sure knowledge that my own navigations on, and through, today's Social Media would begin to make sense. Additionally a training program with which to train people with limited internet reception and download capabilities [ ie using older technology handsets] how to utilise the internet income options. Things like being a paid part of a collaborative world wide promotions team. Not necessarily aimed at only those officially being part of a autism an official autism awareness group. Early intervention with lifting of stress levels may just alter a persons life enough so that that person does not trigger stress related autistic behaviour rearing its head. Read on its explained further down.

Where a changing is not as good as a rest.....

In my experience, being on the Autism Spectrum [ASD], over the years in the work force things got steadily harder. Known people moved away, families grew up, technology – well that definitely changes many things ...rapidly. Life moved on and I had to struggle to catch up. Answer me this if you can. What do you do when you are a female, past fifty, with what people cannot see as a disability. You see an invisible disability needs recognition. Primarily from yourself and the medical field. Secondly from those around you and thirdly from those you are setting out to integrate and engage with. There in lies a major challenge for all peoples …. that of their own Autism awareness issues.

Here is the rub. The gender is something that is there. Basically one way or the other it is there. The age.. okay we are talking chronological here and not the age of the child within. The easiest way to explain this term is one I heard somewhere. The people on the ASD are people from the Autistic to the 'can pass for normal' within which ever community or culture you are within. Change the community or culture and there will show up the inner child.

For myself having had a truck impacting into the drivers front corner of the Nissin Urvan I happened to be driving the immediate result was two fold.

• Firstly
  • Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome [PTSS]
    • Total memory loss – where the conscious brain just “closed down and left”. That resulted in the subconscious brain to take over. Leaving the subconscious brain that is 'wired' for survival figuratively EXPOSED. This meant that I literally was walking through clouds constantly on the Alert for danger time after time. Add this to being a mother of three from 7 years to 18 months.... and then a mother to a new born moths later. To you that have breast fed I basically had a double whammy happening here. At this point there is no need to suggest that survival was due to special autism skills or knowledge. What was happening was shear gut survival instinct that went on for over fifteen years. Time held no reality for me. As an aside to this day I still do not like clocks and watches.
    • Stress causes me to just close down and I sleep. Now at least the close down process is slow and I can remove myself from danger.

• The second thing was my own High Functioning Autism came out to 'play havoc' big time. This effectively was cloud covered with the PTSS.
  • Let me put this statement into historical perspective.
    • Fifty years plus ago Autism research was really just beginning.
      • Thirty years ago Dr Colin Greens book on Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD]was in print. The medical field medicated every child and if they could have would have done so for the pets as well.
      • Twenty three years ago the truck impact occurred. Where we ended up was in isolated mountainous Victoria, Australia. What do you think the medical and social environment was like?

Thank heavens for timely awarenss imputs

When the two [PTSS and HFA] joined forces they literally rained havoc within my life I walked away from those pressures. At least I had sort counselling with a Behavioural Psychologist [ Danny Blackford] a few years before hand. Had I actually realised what was happening I would have taken the Disability Pension and redirected myself into a less stressful situation work wise. No. I was not a high flier. I was a relief taxi driver. Mostly working nights. Over time the hours became 120 hours per week on call. You see that is what relief does. They relieve. At least this is what I did in a previous health working field – pre-impact that is.

Needless to say the messages Danny had forward my brain about came to the forefront just in time. Danny had given me “permission “ to look after myself and when needed to just walk away. The loyalty to the 'employer' had to become the loyalty to myself change. Hay we all know that change is not something that humans like... let alone those people somewhere experiencing life within the spectrum.

The other thing I had become aware of is the pain tolerance threshold was so large that until another near death incident - which took two weeks to mull through and see just how dangerously close things were becoming driving a taxi - was I ready for the change.

At this point please realise within Victoria [ Australia] truck drivers and couriers have to via the Victoria Taxi Body to obtain their licenses. The truck drivers have vehicle log books and specifically hours and time frames with which they can even be around their truck. The drivers brake these rules and regulations and the firms the drivers work for have no insurance..Strangely enough these drivers are in the same boat as the Taxi drivers. Not enough willing workers and always the underlying threat that the job will go when the answer you give is a safety 'NO'. Effectively You the driver wear the blame in a pass the buck... you carry the license and you hold the keys. Needless to say that I went to every doctor around and asked never to be placed in this situation again. Now NO commercial license will be granted. There went that stress factor

The result is what am I able to gainfully do while on the Disability Pension? Especially as I have great difficult reading people body language, distrust authorities and employers who are looking after themselves [ convince me otherwise if you can]

This question goes back to the start of this post.

The only answer left is online income streams.

Online is something that I am fascinated in. Something that started off with” how do the letters and pictures get on the screen in the first place”. Well I figured that out. Years ago. My Social Profile is high and could be higher [ of course] I have no concept of what I am worth though. Just yesterday I placed this in someone’s hands and will be sorted out.

Now back to the course and the associated resources.

What the course has shown me is that there is a heck of a lot of potential in what I have. There also is a wide gap / deep chasm with what I have and what I am wanting to do with what I have. Two choices. Slim and trim of which my intuitive self is arguing and yelling at my brain not too. This gut reaction is what I am listening too.

In so doing this leads me to the second option. Slowly back track and realign/ rebuild with what I have already done. Monitor the results. Accept that quick money is not going to be an option. PITY.

The resources have among them really great videos, copies of online Webinars, blog and training options, groups and hands on connections with people who have and are walking the walk. I was under the impression that I may have to get out there and sell something. Bad experiences with personal relationships hips and the clash of Muli-Level Marketing have had a negative impact here.

Writing this post thorough as well as listening to this mornings webinar I have just realised the only thing I have to do is promote what I write... which is what I do anyway on and through Social Media. Excuse me whole I take a minute to actually feel stupid here. {okay I am back}

Why did I pay for this courses educations and resource’s package if the Australian Government want as many people as possible to get out there and be in the work force?

Other than stating the obvious ... would this loan, study and possible sensory overload be an 'accident' awaiting to happen.  Proabaly. 

 On the flip side I could always do mind numbing activities such as sit around and take up smoking, watching Television [ have to purchase one though], may be drink alchol or even take drugs - persecibed or not so that depression does not become a too frequent visitor.

You see I love working with communities. All it takes is one person within a community to start to change the way things are done and slowly people within that community accept change factors occurring. As things start happening more people start coming on board.

The sticky point is that I have a Post Graduate Certificate in Rural and Community Development. The capital “P as in Post” and the word 'Certificate' got me. I thought what I was applying for / and than obtained was just a small certificate. Not the level of a Post Degree year. This is a problem for an employer as I am now effectively over qualified.

In conclusion

When I stumbled on an email data collection popup 2 years ago what was activated was a quite send out of a small note. Within this note was offered a free course. That was free. And by itself was well worth it. However I saw a structured course outlining just what I was looking for. Online and at a stretch affordable. Something that I can do at home and not have to worry about other people interpreting my concentration and personal space. A course where if sensory overload occurs I can just go to bed and sleep it through rather than have to place a smile on and incur a headache.

As I stated in the beginning paying for this SFM and DEA course was my decision. The repayments of the loan are my responsibility. I acknowledge that things may be slow to start with with regards to becoming financially independent. I know however that I am suborn enough to just keep going. With the Taxis I rest my case here. And I have not even told you about the help and support that has been happening when I either reach out for it or someone sees there is something that I should be aware of and shoots me information opening doors and connecting the experiences into knowledge.

April is "What a way to enlighten the world about high Functioning Autism" each and every year

 From October to mid April there are many cultures around the world with a major celebration  Just the same as there are many different versions and connections within those who are “Living with High Functioning Autism”. Also known as ppd, Pervasive Personality Disorder, Asperger's, Autism Spectrum Disorder and all manner or moralistic descriptive terms.

April is also the world day of Autism. What a way to enlighten the rest of the population.

Challenge yourself to a week of discovery. Yes .. who do you know through out history that had a form of this Invisible disease

• http://wowthatscool.com/-meetanimal/world-autism-awareness-day-11-creative-geniuses-that-may-have-been-autistic/hans-christian-andersen

Here is one link for you to start you off.

Thank you for checking in to the Living with High Functioning Autism Group.

• https://www.facebook.com/groups/406298556067629/ some helpful things are here. You now that as you too have written in the groups

Reactivly being proactive and learning to cope.

What do you do when kayos rains, emergencies crop up and all havac is set loose within the close confines of life as you know it?.And this all within the first five minutes of the childrens getting home from school?

The mix of  High Functioning Autistcs with others - both on  or off the spectrum  makes learning to cope as a way of life.  It has to be.  You have two choices: Controlling the situation as it unfolds or control your reactions to the situation as it unfolds.

 Either is a miracle waiting to happen.  Ever wondered why this particular miracle takes so many practice runs?
As a member of a family that has many generations of people "Living on the Autism Spectium Disorder" scale of things we honestly thought that the way of doing things were 'normal'.  Some were messy others were neat freaks. Yet all were wonderfully creative and exhaustive on the run.

This of course made actvities, games and even cleaning of rooms just the aftermarth of the daily life interesting to say the least.

Check the page here out  as there is a mine of information on the pages behind each link.
Would love your feed back on the general Facebook feedback group.  More specifically through The Living with High Functioning Autism Facebook Group

One of the most important things I found was a great relief when finally someone recognised what was happening within our lives. Sat down and explained the things....  Suddenly so many things started to make sense.  Next came write it out... keep a journal. And along came computers at the end of this time for us.

Somewhere in amoungst all this there were no focus groups.  Little knowledge was being released.  hence the links being added in that link.

 Even worse was taking the family or myself somewhere where they or I felt like a rat in a cage as someone in a coat tried to ask questions while contaning us all.[ 4 children and myself] in one small room and expecting silence to be present!   The resource page links are there enabling you to be better informed than I was able to be.  

Try writing a list of questions out before hand.  Leave your email on the list and simply request that if things get too bad please email you with the confirmation of the answers - that way you can all gain maximium benefit.

Manage My Living with HFA List

The start of one more increadiable piece of the Living with High Functioning Austism Journey.  Being my age, Female and over skilled there is very little that emplyers are abe to offer me in the way of employment in Australia.  Unless of course I want to take on  a job that a younger person could easily earn their own income with.    Add to this the many annoyances that having the HFA is actually bringing to the surface as time goes on.

So for me working at home to keep the boardom away has to pay off.  So far it has.  Not financaily as of yet ... although it will.  Having started a course with SFM I am really starting to place the threads between my own online experiamces and the knowledge of what I msy actually do inorder to weave the experiances, action and become proactive in establishing a 'toe hold' within the door.  Here is to moving forward.

This morning was spent creating this site page  {the take away link is [ https://sites.google.com/site/cve4me/ ]} and now its on to undoing all that I did yesterday so that I begin to work smarter not harder.

Living with HFALiving with High Funtioning Autism is something many either 'medicate' or hide away from. Share the journey finding out the mechanics of this Invisiable disease. Written from the view point of a mother looking for answers as well as a person who after nearly 50 years found she had been living with it herself all that time. Welcome to the world of Aspergers, HFA, PPD and definatly on the ASD
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Is this life a reality to a High Functioning Autistic person looking for a way out of never ending repeatable action circles?

Are you accepting your circumstances as your reality?  Are you accepting defeat? Do you even know what it is you are accepting or giving up?  These are questions that have become apparent to me once again as I question which side of the mental line I am on. Rather like an umpire deciding where the games lines are going to be moved to today and how many times those lines and goal post will be redirected during the game. Let alone on which field and what game you are playing today.

You have heard of the voice of consciousness?  A parrot on your shoulder?  The voice of reason?  Your unconscious brain not working in harmony with the concious brain.  When you are "Living with High Functioning Autism" there is an extra set of factors influencing your choices and these factors are the greasy oil being poured along the walls of your reality. So much so that each decision is compounded by illusive factors not always known to the unconscious brain.  The reality of this reality is that the subconscious is awash with this greasy oily film - [visual description here].  Now the subconscious has to reach out to the conscious parts of the brain and 'hang on' for dear life.  

Needless to say  that action causes a reaction.  The subconscious brain is a very old part of the humans make-up.  The primary purpose is set to 'protect mode' constantly overriding the sensory overload switch and three things happen here-

1. Fight
2. Stay
3. Flight

.As such it will always try to 'offer' guidance to the conscious brain.  Now what happens when the conscious brain has to carry the subconscious brain?  Okay maybe this does not happen this way scientifically.  The questions still stands as the game plan changes in any game.  However within "My Incredible Journey" somehow the lines and boundaries have constantly changed.  More so since as my life on the Autism Spectrum has been confounded and confused since February 1991 of total memory loss.  That is when a gravel truck with trailer from the Orbost Shire Council impacted onto the right side of the Nissan Urvan I happened to have just started and was changing from first gear to second [ that is travelling at 2 km].  So just casually throw in Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome into the undiagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder and you now have a person [ me] living in a reality that is beautiful and not real.  That was the long term result of an immediate close down switch off effect.  Many years later the actual High Functional Autism trait of a complete meltdown occurred.  At least prior to this melt down I had sort and received assistance from Danny Blackford. assistance - a Behaviour Psychologist.  Danny pre-warned me that these things would keep bubbling up.  Before they got to a melt down go and revisit him.  Both these actions were thankfully done.  At that meltdown point though I was dealing with another kind of pain.  Effectively workplace torture was the trigger factor that lit the keg if which then things imploded.  

Thankfully another trait is the High Functioning Autistic trait of having a high pain threshold combined with repetition factors.  many people see these as just rocking backwards and forwards.  Not so.  How many times have you suddenly become aware that time has moved on and you are still in the same mind space?  Just pushing an online button?  Must admit that the micro blog site Twitter tends to not like this repetitive action. In fact Twitter limit the amount of any straight re tweets that you can have in any one given period without a few tweets of your own going through. Or they suspend your account and that really hurts.

Your reality is being reprogrammed as you read !

Everything that goes into is recorded as true.  The subconscious knows not different. Should you be brought up being a 'victim' mentality then that is what your brain is going to respond to.  The challenge with  High Functioning  Autism is that

a) there is some part of you that remains a child.  You are not totally Autistic  and you are not non-Autistic.  You are somewhere in the middle.. on the Autistic Spectrum.

b) you do but you do not comprehend.  Take reading a book for instance you read every word in that book and have you comprehended what was said.  Are you able to draw from your experiences , skills and knowledge parallels with what is being stated and what needs to be actually done? Is there a time delay factor at play? A bottle neck/  Have you just hit sensory overload?  What is you behaviours like? Is it erratic? Are you driving people crazy while at the same time trying to isolate yourself.

 For myself when I hit this type of thing my survival mode is 'sleep'.  In an emergency though it is different. A cool calm person is switched on and like a person wearing a uniform the job is done. Everyone is safe and through to the end. The precusier is that of irritating head aches,sore eyes, higher blood pressure, extremely variable behaviours and irritated sleep patterns.

Now meltdown can occur.  I deep sleep for a few hours to a days. However this was not always so.  After walking away from the last place of employment it too me a few months of intermittent deep sleep periods but then I slept the days and nights away for about 6 months.  In between times I actually lost time. I do remember still keeping a running journal though and that I found helpful. might not be able to read a lot of what is in there as there are so many different handwritings - even on the same page- even I wonder who wrote them down.

With the total memory loss associated with the Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome what was a normal reality anyway? It took over seven years to feel as though I had walked  a day totally on this earth. Talk about head in the clouds.

Actually writing this I have just realised what our oldest daughter meant when she stated years later that she learned how to cook with a wood fired chip heater as she never knew if I was awake or not.... a matter of survival for her as se was seven and hungry.  Everything had to be cooked from basics since there was no fridge or freezer.  Making the bread was a daily exercise and eveyryone joined in.  Creativity rained [ and so did the flour].  Her Brownie cooking and hostess badge were among the first earned. 

This really has got me thinking about how much was missing as a care giver and a mother to my children as I operated in constant sleep mode. Years later I left driving taxis as I was oncall 120 hours aweek.  Effectively this meant that I was the equilivant of being near dead with alcoloism.  Took a while to realise it and that is when something happened  at work and I left.  I knew at that point of my life I could not be trusted behind a wheel. Literally what was happening again was I was opperating in a near sleep mode.  This I think triggered off the meltdown that did occur.  Read further.

 There were times that I woke up an fed the baby without knowing how it got there.  This at the time I put down to literally sleep walking and bringing the baby to bed with me.  

Please remember that at this point of our lives we were in isolated Victoria mountain rangers.  There were no neighbours and our one trip out with a car would be Sunday to the nearest Church as we home schooled and our oldest child did Lone Brownie Guides  [ 7 year old Girl Scouts] by correspondence.. And a two weekly trip nearly 200km round trip away to go to the library and pick up supplies. If My Husband could not get home due to the weather [ snow, rain, floods or bush fires] we were stuck.

As time went on the next year the two oldest children went to a day school via a bus.  By that time a second car was on the road. Once a week the Brownie Guides was now attended .

 Please note: I have chosen to leave this above revelation in as to show you how memories can surface at the oddest of times when the pathway you are working through does not cause you to go through the firewall of pain.  Welcome to my world.  What you do not see is me actually becoming aware that I  am rocking backwards an forwards while I am struggling to write these thought as well as release the hurt both from remembered pain and the buzzing within my head. The funny thing is I never realised I rocked..... back to proof reading this...and yes I am still rocking back wards and forwards.

On this note after the impact I was still coming out in bruising six weeks later.  I know that date as that is when I finally had a doctors appointment and he reluctantly sent me for a hip xray.  Not because of a car accident [ nor as I was unknowingly pregnant] but because this doctor did not want to waste the Australian health care systems money on someone who was obviously an itinerant foreign worker [ of which we were permanent residences of Australia and we had had a business of painting faces and selling balloons.  Besides the Orbost Shire Hospital had written that my husband had beaten me up.  That was the first I knew about physical violence apparently occurring.  The only physical violence that ever occurred was one Orbost Shire Council truck and trailer driven by a 'permanent drunk' who happened to be related to the policeman on the screen of the accident. Forgive has occurred.  Forget as you see takes a while longer as when you are coming out of that deepest memory loss you are forced to just keep remembering and dealing with the consequences.  You learn to accept the here and now.  Reprogramme the brain to accept what ifs and would it be nice if's is not a survival mode tool.  One of the hardest things for me too do was to sit don and come up with 100 things to include on a bucket list.  To complete the list took weeks.

The reality was that right after impact there were three children between the ages of 7 years and 18 months [they were ours] and one man [ my husband of 12 years] I did not know. Oh and then I was / got pregnant too.  One car [ a Datsun 2000 which is just bigger than a mini minor] two tailors and one totally wreaked Nissan Urvan. Interesting set of circumstances.

 What showed profusely was that the subconscious brain is wired to survive.   Many things are then done on an 'intuitive level'.  You may have done / read / watch / heard about things before and you simply do them and not realise that is what has happened.  Effectively for myself it was a case of bypassing the firewall that now existed between the now and the then.  To access the then I found ways to bypass the firewall of pain.  To go back through pain circumstances is not in a persons wiring apparently.  Think about placing your hand in a flame.  As a youngster you would have become rapidly aware of flames burn. Burns are painful.  The pain threshold developed in people causes you to literally think twice before you re-do that action.

 Then how do people achieve the ability to walk on fire coals with bear feet?  They circumvent the remembered survival pain. The SFM training revived thus far has described how the conscious brain and the subconscious are brought together to work in harmony with each other 

Bringing this to the here and now of about 6 weeks ago this is what I wrote in my virtual journal.   

“How badly do you want it?” 

These are powerful words. They say that when there is a time that is right the teacher will come.  For me this teach is an opportunity to learn through a proven educational and resource system. Check out the buttons on the side of this blog.

Please remember that this is posted in retrospect.

"Powerful words that less than twelve hours ago I read. Then since it was after midnight I went to bed. Now it is 5 hours later and I am rereading this email.

Between then and now I have had a major mindset change

.

Here’s the quick version.

One month ago a family friend wanted to borrow my car for 4 days. His had been stolen then written off. The 4 days has turned now into 6 weeks by the time I have access to my car again.

2 days ago a 4x4 drove forward in a car park and badly damaged my vehicles door. Let me put it this way I was prepared to wear the car tyres were but not another car being wrecked on me.

 Today, as in just now, I was re-looking at the explanation of the levels.

 That was it. I am tired of having my back against the proverbial “Out house door”. A decision is now made. I am going to get a personal loan from a financial institution of $11,000.00. This is to make sure that I have access to the complete total Elite system and the Black level commissions for all my life.

 Last night, while walking the dog with a friend and his dog, I heard his business venture. Having spoken with him about what I was doing I realised that there was very subtle and compellingly positive invitations being sent out to trust in his judgement of my capabilities.

 On the surface these sound good. But scratch the surface and it is a one way conversion flow.

Am I prepared to accept this as well.

 The answer is no. This is my life I am talking about. My beliefs I would be giving away once again.

 As part of this belief factor there are two things I am placing on my to do list. Today’s to do list. Over and above the 'Ask, Believe and Receive'. I am actioning this today. I have just written the previous sentences. Here is what is happening. A massive electrical jot has just given me the tingles and it is still occurring. Rushing around and around and through my body, my mind and my belief system. I am literally on fire. The decision I have made: This is the right decision, pathway and journey. I have made.

 I am asking from my bank . A financial institution. For a loan of the finances needed. I am taking ownership of My Incredible Journey. I am finishing what I started. I am grateful for all the lessons I have learned in my life to this date as these are making me move forward in a fully committed belief win my self, trust My Mentor [Mark Ford], My business coach [ Martyn] the SFM and DEA system, resources and training.

Most of all trust myself, my judgements and my integrity at all times. I am tired of working out a way of accepting second best within my life. I do my absolute best at all time And there are those tingles again.

I am placing the code in the [Part 1.4] Product & Pay-Plan Training box. Have just done this. The feeling that I am experiencing is one of remarkable achievement. I am taking my life back. I own my life. Owning my life is my driving force. My motivator. That is what I have been finding, hunting out for for 54 years, 83 days and 1 hours , 10 minutes years. That person who is me , what she can and will be is my driving force. This I know will not change.

No I am NOT

Are you accepting your circumstances as your reality?   NO I am NOT accepting defeat?

 Next thing I am adding to my to do list is today go back to the life style exercise and alter is again adding detail after detail. Then more detail. This reaffirms my living my Laptop Life Style as as this builds into a further reality I do accept it for real. It is there and I will take it into my hands and live the changes unlocked by the ownership of my life, My Journey, My Potential, and My Future."

The only problem to all this was reality.  Parrots and the High Functioning Autistic tenancies kicking in.  

Yip there was sensory overload kicking right in on top of the bottle nose effect.  I wanted to cry.  Never once give up though. Nor did I doubt that this is what was meant to be happening..

I knew what I had read.  Intuitively knew what I was seeing.  Understood at some profound level what was happening.  Had a ball just trying to imagine. Has to and still have to fight my way through was is reality and which concept goes where.  Just to find out that what could be  is a possibility if I could understand how things actually word=k.  Forgot to tell you I was stubborn did I not?

Persistence pays off.  Even just doing one thing at a time.  Mark Zuckerman stated something like" Just do little steps each day and soon there are 365 little steps completed"  There is also a 90 day video  challenge coming up.  Tried that video challenge and something was wrong.  A page of wisdom re making video was sent to me.  The word I picked up on was Keywords.  Hitting a brick wall one way I started researching another way... Google broad word search has revelled many things as not the research was unclouded and focused

Having this research happening opened my brain to other circulatory.  Now I find that part of the bottle neck has been allowed to flow through. And yes there is the personal delay factor of approx 8 weeks happening all over again with training repetition and assimilation. And the memory of high school exams and learning procedures.

Now I understand what I am going to be doing. How I am going to do it.  What is practical. Where the focus on mine is going to be. And so many other answers.

That's business and that was going to be ... and was written about is now going to be redone with determination and sent to the appropriate person.  I think you can feel the excitement this end.  The release that has occurred you have been reading about

In summary

Is this life a reality to a High Functioning Autistic person looking for a way out of never ending repeatable action circles?

The simple answer is that with the unmentioned support, friendship and so many other factors  the answer is a positive yes. All it takes is you to realise that you are ready, and that means never giving up on yourself, your mind and your reality change.  If you really want what is there then you will sort things out in order to achieve what you want to achieve.

Go for it. 

High Functioning Autism resources from large sources

Dependant Persionailty Disorder  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dependent_personality_disorder

What are the main types of Personailty disorder  http://www.health.gov.au/internet/publications/publishing.nsf/Content/mental-pubs-w-whatper-toc~mental-pubs-w-whatper-typ

High Functioning Autism Blogs for reference

Autism Blogs Direct  http://www.autismblogsdirectory.blogspot.com.au/

Married with Aspergers   http://bjforshaw.wordpress.com/

The Hidden Autism Community  http://theconnorchronicles.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/the-hidden-autism-community/

www.Autism.com   wellworth the visit
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